Should Women Message Men First?

One of the biggest puzzles women have on dating sites nowadays is should they message the men first, or should they leave the initiative to men altogether.

Many women believe men enjoy the chase and they think all they need to do is put up a profile and wait patiently for the emails to flood their inbox.

While this is a really cute and romantic way of thinking, here’s what’s really going on: the dating rules of today have nothing to do with the rules you might be used to. You know how you thought you should never chase men and how you should wait up to 3 days to respond to his message? You can forget about that because with millions of people on dating sites, chances are it won’t get you anywhere near your goal.

Do you even know how the online dating game for men looks?

It’s true women get far more emails than men do, but do you know how the process of sending those emails goes? Some guys send over 50 emails a day, only to receive a few replies. Neither the man, nor the women he’s been messaging are truly interested. He’d been blind-fishing and hoping for whatever he catches.

Now, I bet that didn’t sound romantic at all. The male ego is still just as it was 20 years ago, though, and messaging a guy first will be very flattery for anyone of them. Flattering a guy will get you miles ahead of all those ladies he might have messaged yesterday. He never really took a close look at them, or their profiles (because how can you focus on 50 people individually, right?).

Showing interest in a man will make him pay attention to you and really check out your profile, along with your photos, life and relationship goals, etc.

You should keep in mind that you aren’t, by any means, chasing the man if you email him first, nor are you taking away his “natural hunter role”. You’re simply giving the guy a green light and letting him know you’re open to a conversation to see where things might go. Once you start talking, it’s still up to him to ask you out on a date.

To conclude, the answer is definitely YES! A woman should massage a man if she finds him attractive. A woman’s initiative can easily become her advantage, so don’t miss out!

Photo by andrewrennie