Do you feel frustrated by the lack of luck you’re been having in the love department? You are so not alone. Here is a realistic perspective on things and you should consider it because it will help you stay happy until you actually do find the love you’ve been looking for.
Finding love takes time
Think about it, how many times in your life have you been truly in love? You can probably count those on one hand. Now, think about how much time has passed in between those great loves? Did they happen once a year? Or has it been several years in between them?
You see, love doesn’t really happen all that often, as you probably realize. If it was something you could find around the corner, it wouldn’t be so precious. The truth is all of us have to bump into many plain rocks until we encounter that diamond we’ve been looking for. It just takes time. It doesn’t happen once a month, and that’s perfectly OK. The fact you haven’t had luck for some time shouldn’t discourage you. Of course you didn’t find your soul mate after two months on a dating site. In case you did, you should consider yourself very lucky, because who finds love after only two months of searching? The extremely lucky ones!
Things don’t work out with most people
…and that’s perfectly normal. And OK. Each relationship has three ways it can go: you dump someone, someone dumps you, or you live happily ever after. Just how many times do you think the happily ever after actually happens? How many times have you seen it happen for everyone around you?
We all need to get better at accepting the fact that with most people – things just usually won’t work out. Do you know what Thomas Edison said right before he invented the light bulb?
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
Just like you or anyone else who is out there looking for love. Quitting is never an option. It just takes patience and faith in self.
Don’t set the bar too high
Think about all the people you’ve seen on your dating website, and all the people you meet in real life. Now, try to answer some of these questions:
- How many of them do you find physically attractive?
- How many of them meet all your basic checklist qualities: height, weight, income, smoking….?
- How many of them made you want to have a long conversation with?
- How many of them would you like to present to your family as your partner?
- Assuming a person meets all the criteria above, does that person think the same about you? Do you meet all their criteria?
Most likely you’ll come to realize that there are very few people that meet all your criteria. Now, at least one of those people would have to consider you someone who meets their criteria AND the two of you have to click on the first date.
Now do you understand why the majority of people aren’t THE ONE, and why you have to keep looking?
None of these is a reason to despair. Finding love is like digging for gold: a lot of effort with little reward, until you strike it big.